The term “gaslighting” originated from a 1938 psychological thriller written by British playwright Patrick Hamilton, titled Gas Light. It was later adapted into films in 1940 and 1944, with the latter starring Oscar-nominated actress Ingrid Bergman alongside Charles Boyer. In the story, a husband named Gregory psychologically manipulates his wife, Paula, in an attempt to make her doubt her own perception of reality.
As the plot unfolds, Paula becomes increasingly conflicted – unsure whether to trust her own experiences or her husband’s version of events. She grows isolated, anxious, and fearful.
Each evening, Gregory leaves Paula alone in the house, claiming to go for a walk. In reality, he hides in the attic and deliberately dims the gaslights. When Paula mentions seeing the lights flicker, Gregory insists she is imagining things and suggests she may be going mad. He furthers her isolation by implying she is mentally unwell and socially unfit: “Now, perhaps you will understand why I cannot let you meet people.”
This is how the term “gaslighting” was born. It has since entered popular psychology and is frequently referenced in self-help literature to describe toxic dynamics in interpersonal relationships. At its core, gaslighting is a deliberate form of psychological manipulation designed to distort or invalidate another person’s sense of reality.
Despite being written over 80 years ago, Gas Light remains a powerful reference point for understanding psychological abuse and coercive control, particularly within the context of domestic violence.
Importantly, gaslighting can happen to anyone, in any type of relationship. It is not limited to romantic partners. Friends, neighbours, employers, colleagues, siblings, or even parents can engage in gaslighting behaviour.
Victims who experience gaslighting may:
- Feel confused or constantly second-guess themselves
- Struggle to make even simple decisions
- Isolate themselves or withdraw from others
- Apologise frequently, even when not at fault
- Feel hopeless, joyless, worthless, or incompetent
The persistent undermining of your thoughts, feelings, and sense of reality can be extremely damaging and difficult to cope with. If you believe you are experiencing gaslighting, it is vital to seek professional support.
If you are suffering from Domestic abuse or know anyone who is, please get help
If you are worried that someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse, you can call Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free, confidential support, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247. Visit the helpline website to access information on how to support a friend.
If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you are in danger and unable to talk on the phone, call 999 and listen to the questions from the operator and, if you can, respond by coughing or tapping on the handset.
If you are deaf or can’t verbally communicate. You can register with the emergencySMS service. Text REGISTER to 999. You will get a text which tells you what to do next. Do this when it is safe so you can text when you are in danger.
